" From A Catterpillar to a Butterfly "

Change, as what most of the people now, is the only thing that is constant in this world. Almost everyone and everything changes. A change of physical appearance, a change in attitude, a change in perception and opinion, those are only some of the things that change could do.

I also experienced to change. Change to the fact that it nearly reformed who am I.

When I was in high school, I thought that i was just another normal typical girl with just my wits and my beauty as my tools for survival. But it seems that there is something missing. Yes, indeed, I lack something that some of the people i know have. They have their independence and their own perception in life. My perceptions are often just copied from other people or something that I just heard from my friends. But when I reached college and met with some people who has a much greater experience than i do, I said to myself that I am a human that capable of changing myself.

And the metamorphosis started. I became a much more greater person than before. I found an inspiration of change. An inspiration that forced me to change. And I am eternally thankful to that certain person. Ü..

"A Fairy and Her Fairytale"

Do you believe in fairytales? Do you believe in fairies? Do you believe in magic and wishes being granted? If you ask me, I do.

Way back before, my mother often tells me fairytale. Snow White and the seven dwarfs, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan, Beauty and the Beast, you name it. She often starts with this phrase, "Once upon a time on a very far away land, a land very far away from us.." Then my mother would narrate the story from the beginning to the end. I remembered also that there were times wherein i would fall asleep while my mother would tell me a fairytale and the fairytale would continues in my dreams wherein I would be the main character of the story. But often times, i would become more likely to become the fairy, much more than being the main character leading lady of the story.

I pictured out fairies to be like beautiful, fashionable, sexy and has a radiating aura that could make others spirit to be uplifted and be joyful. They have a magic wand and a magic dust which is their tools in performing their magic tricks and fulfilling wishes. They have a very cute smile and a cute face that cold easily make anyone fall in love. But i asked myself, why doesn't the fairy has her own fairytale? It is supposed to be a "FAIRY"-tale, not only being the sidekick of the main character. WHy doesn't the fairy has her own lovestory within a fairytale? Why wouldn't she just use her magic so that he could get the Prince Charming of the main female character of the story?

Maybe because not all people will get their own fairytale.

I may have failed in some of my relationship. But still, I am not loosing hope. Just like fairytales, my lovestory will always have a happy ending. And maybe, just maybe, for the first time, i could say that even a fairy like would also have a fairytale of her own. Ü..

Superhero

Superheroes are mostly defined as a character that needs actual superhuman powers.
For all they know, they are human with a costume that symbolizes their abilities.
They can transform into another being to rescue those who are in need.

I was formerly betrayed and wandered in wrong different way, I thought everything will never be okay and all of my hopes are fading away. I don't believe of what people say that pains, frustrations will vanish in just a matter of time. I keep thinking of my deeds and ponder my decisions.
(what did I do wrong to deserve all of these)
-ang lagi kong tanong sa sarili ko.

I was been seeking for somebody to value me as a special one, suddenly there came a man without a mask nor a shield and weapons that fights for any battle, but immediately come up to rescue me with his bare mighty arms. (hindi nga lang siya ganon ka macho, pero nailigtas niya naman ako! oh, diba?)

All the things that made me weak before are the things now which I am looking for.
(para my napag-tatawan ako) hahaha.

My hero is not an ordinary one,
-he can defeat even batman.
My hero was born for me,
-he makes me feel that I am worthy.




I am grateful for his master for choosing him as my savior!

The person that will never be replaced

Two years have passed my longing for that person is never changing.

My world before was heaven, I didn't ask for something more,
I was very contented and satisfied for everything I have in my life.
Though I seemed to be silly and hard headed before I know that I love the people that surrounds me and I appreciate all the things that is being done for me.

My favorite part in the house is bedroom,
"dun ko kasi nayayakap ang mala-bulaklak kong mga unan"
My favorite thing to do at home is sleeping,
"magkatabi kasi kami matulog"
My favorite snack is bread,
"magkasalo kasi kaming kumain"

There's a lot of things that was lost when my mom died.
I miss everything that she used to do....
Those sweet voice which I would always love to hear calling "Palangging" and
when I'm beaten up?

hindi siya magdadalawang isip na sumugod kung sino man ang walang hiyang umaapi sa akin kaya din ata ako matapang kasi my mommy ako eh.
.
.
.
d-a-t-e-h!




I look a lot like her and maybe it's one of the reasons why my dad loves me more than my siblings. haha.. With my mom, I felt being loved and secure that no harm could even attempt to come near to us. Even though my mom seemed to be that cruel, I had never tried punished by her and heard ungodly words from her mouth. I miss chatting with her but now that she's gone all I can do is to talk to her through praying.
I may not hear advice from her, I may take no more response but I know within myself that she will be my guide all through out the way of my life.
She is always be in my prayer and she will never be forgotten and be replaced even if I am going to have a step mom soon.
I kept on praying that when the time comes that we are going to be together again, we would still continue our life in a real heaven.

Almost a Looser

I'm going to give up, I'm almost there. I know that there's a big chance that "THEY" don't like me, 'di naman ako humahangad na pumapel sa buhay nila.'

What I am trying to ask is just a simple smile from their frowning face.
Since they could never show me some, all I can do is to slap into their faces what they are trying to ask from me 'kahit hindi ko naman alam kung paano' I may do wrong, there may be pain that I could not bare but it is all I wanted to do. I may cause pain to someone but sacrificing is a big factor in showing something REAL.

Robot, luxury car, diamonds, expensive stuffs can be bought in exchange of euro.
chocolates, candies, key chain, cheap stuffs are common,
everyone can afford to buy.
And if you were to be ask what would you want to have?
There's nothing else we would want but of course those shimmering in the eye, the costly one.Right?

What if you have the power to give it all, yet you can never happen to expect in return. There is just something in your HEART that is pulling you to do so. Why won't you try to consult an ANTI-OBSESSIVE man? hahahaha.... (I am just making things complicated) maybe that's the reason why obsessed people are standing still and busy digging up with some blah blah.. They are lazy enough to consult an ANTI-OBSESSIVE man. hehe. According to my friends if you do not have intentions at the back of your mind you would not spend time finding another ways with that blah blah.. dibah? the lesson we might learn.
.
.
.
is nothing! hahaha

_Mabuhay ang mga insecure! isali na rin ang mga Obsess!_

Stranger

My name is being here without knowing something to put on.

Hmm... Let me just say something about how my mind is working today.
"blahhhh..." I've got nothing in mind.

I don't know why I could never focus to a task given.

If there is an instruction from a teacher, instructor or even from a friend, I can't immediately figure it out, my reactions are so far away with their topic and sometimes out-of-place.
hindi naman ako ganon ka bobo. pero bat ganon? hahaha.
It may be funny and I even laugh at myself because of being slow. I don't have an idea how to make myself better and how to escape from feeling this weird thing. Maybe through this,
gagaan ang loob ko. masarap pala kapag nailalabas ang tinatago.* LOL

I admit that I am pessimistic, maybe because of my past which I have incountered terribly.
terrible? (nakaka-loka kasi) madami-dami na rin akong napagdaanan.
With my 19 years of service dito sa mundo, I don't think I have contributed something good and it makes me feel bad. I don't accept critisms before until I've learned how to become open to other's opinion. It made me a better person somehow, pero sa sobrang pakikinig ko nga lang dun, naubusan na rin ako ng powers. It leads me to have a poor confidence.(kakalungkot)

-kaya kayo.. be aware ha? tirahan nyo konti sarili nyo, pagkatiwalaan nyo mga kakayahan niyo!

I know that I am not strong enough in handling my own self, bunso kasi but if not because of my present friendssssss I won't be standing still. I am very much thankful for having them. Thank you ah? you know who you are.

For those who have concerns or criticisms, huwag na kayong kumontra! baguhan lang ako dito!